So It’s Come To This

Friday, November 16th, 2007, 12:58 pm

I did something yesterday I’m not proud of.

Afterwards I came home and did busy work to get my mind off it. I washed the dishes, sorted some laundry, threatened the cat. I felt bad about that last one, there was no excuse for lashing out, but when you’re consumed with self-loathing you can get caught in a cycle of shameful acts. I took a deep breath, sat down, and realized that if I wanted to more forward with my life I had to forgive myself. "It’s OK," I said out loud. "Forget the past. Think to the future."

So this morning, I woke up and filled a bowl with Multi-Bran Chex. And then, God help me, I went to the fridge and confronted my demons.

I got out a quart of skim milk and poured it on my cereal.

Yes, I broke down and bought (expletive deleted) skim milk. Not so long ago if you’d asked me to name a dozen things I would never, ever do, "buy skim milk" would’ve been up there with "walk tightrope across Niagra Falls" and "launch invasion of Soviet Union in mid-summer". Wasn’t gonna happen. To my mind skim milk seemed something that the Devil conjured up. Milk…without the milk. Why not just run your cereal bowl under the tap?

But if I’m serious about losing weight I need to make "lifestyle changes", and skim milk is a means to that end. Now, it’s not like I’d crack open a pint of Half-N-Half on a hot summer day and go sit on the porch. When I partake, I usually drink 1%. But just as there’s allegedly only a 1% difference in the DNA between humans and chimpanzees, that 1% makes quite a difference.

So picking up that container with the white cap (instead of one with that crisp, confident blue cap) was tough. But, it was time to make that sacrifice. Especially if I keep drinking beer and eating wings after volleyball, as I did last night. And I ate my cereal and there were no complications. Sure, I’d rather have poured fresh cream over Apple Jacks…but I’d also like to look at myself in profile without bursting into tears. Thus, the trade-off. As we grow older we sometimes have to compromise our principles. This is just one in what will no doubt be a long list of personal betrayals.

Permanent link to this post.

2 Responses to “So It’s Come To This”

  1. mookie99 Says:

    Say it ain’t so!


    If you can read the paper through your glass of milk then you shouldn’t be drinking it.

    It’s all about the red cap…mmm whole!

  2. WholeMilkFatty Says:

    The Horror.

Leave a Reply