Tagged

Thursday, May 10th, 2007, 4:58 pm

You never really leave high school, do you? OK, I got tagged by D to the P, so here are seven random things about me you probably didn’t know:

  1. My internet writing career started on Amazon.com, where I was one of their top 100 reviewers for awhile, but my big break came, uh, when I entered an erotic story writing contest (under a pseudonym, of course). And I won. No, I will not provide a link to it, nor will I ever share it with another living soul. No way, no how.
  2. After dropping a pass on the playground in 3rd grade I screamed “Shit!” at the top of my lungs. I don’t know that I’d ever even THOUGHT that word before. I immediately slapped my hand over my mouth, but the teacher on duty heard me, and the squeaky-clean Gene received a stern lecture about using blue language. In retrospect I realize that my teacher was quite bemused by the whole episode…but I didn’t use a curse word again until I was like a junior in high school.
  3. I hate karaoke and wouldn’t dream of ever singing in public. But I sing in my car when I’m driving by myself. And I belt it out, dammit. There have been times when I’ve gone to the lake for the weekend when I’ve arrived almost hoarse.
  4. I don’t like broccoli–I freakin’ LOVE IT. Not raw, don’t like it raw, but I can eat me a whole bowl of steamed broccoli and be a happy guy.
  5. I tend to stay friends with my ex-girlfriends. To a disturbing degree. How disturbing? Try this on for size–I did the reading at the wedding of an ex-girlfriend…and I brought another ex-girlfriend as my platonic date…this after I’d just gone out a few times with my future ex-wife.
  6. I missed my first exam in college. Blew off the class to study for another exam. See, I thought the Astro test was on Thursday…International Relations on Wednesday…whoops. Still got a B+ in the class. Still have nightmares that I have to take a final in a class I haven’t attended all year. And they’re BAD dreams, man.
  7. When I was a baby I developed cysts around my ears that had to be removed, and to keep me from looking even more freakish I had to have some plastic surgery afterwards. Years later the guy who operated on me appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show, and the topic that day was “Plastic Surgeons Who Operated On Their Wives”.

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6 Responses to “Tagged”

  1. donkeypuncher Says:

    Dude, I have that same nightmare at least once a month.

  2. JoeSpeaker Says:

    I’m currently soliciting donations and was wondering how much I’ll need to collect for publication of the story in #1.

  3. Figmo Says:

    LOL, I remember that episode of Oprah. Is this the guy? http://www.austin-weston.com/weston/index.asp Either he or his partner Dr. Austin was featured on the show. I went to their clinic for a consultation once. Never did have the procedure I wanted done.

  4. KenP Says:

    After reading #1 (refraining from #2 joke), I thought you might find this link helpful.

    http://www.llbean.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/CategoryDisplay?storeId=1&catalogId=1&langId=-1&categoryId=44750&sc1=Search&feat=sr

  5. What role do Austrians play in Says:

    54Manifest Destiny dictates a white-man’s prophecy – White-man’s world, white-man’s Apocolypse

    Twenty-somethings are conditioned to respond positively to magic::::::they are the extacy generation.
    This is not by accident. Expect they will be an important generation (“in charge”, etc) when the battle between the Anti-Christ and Second Coming of Christ ocurrs.
    This of course will be a 20-year war-revelry cycle distraction theater, and they want these people consumed by the high level of magic that will ocurr.
    This generation is The Damned.
    You’re all going to die PEAKING like you’re on X.

    Austrian Sigmund Freud is known as the father of psychoanalysis, yet people have (mental) health problems because of their disfavor, illustrating the preditory purpose of this discipline, this individual.
    These people.
    Of course Hitler was Austrian. Glock, maker of the semi-automatic gun favored by black street gangs such as the Bloods and the Crips, is Austrian.
    RedBull Energy drink, Buwdeiser both Austrian. What role do Austrians play in the cigarette industry??

    The Holocaust was foreshadowing, yet another example of the Jews sacrificing to help the disfavored::::
    1. 1492 exodus from Spain. Spain became evil – financed Columbus, initiated missionaries, USA (dumping ground of disfavored victimized by god), etc.
    2. Spread throughout Europe as clue to Christians worshipping a false god.
    3. “Quasi-Holocaust claim” contradicting boss.
    4. 5. 6. 7. etc. etc. etc.
    The Apocalypse (or an Apocalyptic event) will be initiated by an Austrian. When the national referendum to allow foreign-born individuals to run for president is introduced I recommend you DEFY and vote NO!! In the years prior to this vote the gods will send POWERFUL clues suggesting the IMPORTANCE OF DEFIANCE.

    Apex of irony in the Situaiton:::Jew calls in Quasi-Holocaust claim and takes boss, re-igniting the flames of anti-Semitism among blacks in the crucial years before the black holocaust:::

    ——————————————————————

    Italy’s boot is a clue showing the god’s intent with the Romans AND their active involvement::::The gods micromanaged the Eutruscans into their role as Romans, just as they micromanaged me with Artificial Intelligence into the role they scripted for this Situation.
    Oshkosh is a clue just as Lake Michigan and Green Bay are clues. Oshkosh is the ejaculate clue:::Life springs forth from this region.
    Expect your traditional Second Coming of Christ to come from the region. The gods dirtied me up but the Second Coming will be squeeky clean. Consistant with the possibility of matrilinial lineage it may be the mother’s family from the Lake Winnebago area fulfilling some “Manifest Destiny” theater:::The gods emphisize the evil, utilizing “magic” as they will during the Second Coming of Christ, and they minimize the good, as you see with boss, for the people’s collective favor has fallen sufficient

  6. Mean Gene Says:

    Jesus, this comment spam is awesome. Wish I could write insane stuff so beautifully.

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