Nice Abomination Guys

Monday, January 29th, 2007, 10:55 am

Paul Lukas writes the “Uni Watch” column for ESPN’s Page 2, and you might not know that he has a Uni Watch blog as well. Great stuff for the sports fanatic who also enjoys the world of fashion. Sports fashion, anyway.

I heard the Pirates had introduced some new uniforms at PirateFest this week but I missed seeing them. Oh, how I wish I’d missed them:

I mean, are you kidding me? I couldn’t put it any better than Lukas did: this alternate jersey is a total fucking joke. It’s beyond awful. The Pirates’ insistence on involving red in their Black-and-Gold color scheme is bewildering. And in this case the execution lends credence to the idea that Pirate ownership is outta their frickin’ minds.

Actually, the fourth jersey (the alternate-alternate) looks awful too. The black on on the end, I mean:

Lukas has a new Uni Watch standard for new uniforms: Is it good or is it stupid? How could the Pirates come up with TWO stupid designs? I mean, if you want a nice alternate jersey, how about all-black with the big “P” logo from the cap on the side, maybe with some gold trim? Or, if you want to bring back the “We Are Fam-A-Lee” days how about a gold jersey with black trim and the big “P” logo? Simple, clean lines, distinctive. Instead of the eyesores we’ll be watching this season.

Poor Adam LaRoche. He gets traded from the Atlanta Braves to the Pirates, the PIRATES, and the first the team does to welcome him here and make him model this ketchup-flavored jersey. I see a 59-103 season ahead.

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7 Responses to “Nice Abomination Guys”

  1. Drizztdj Says:

    Who is the sponsor of the softball team in the pictures?

    Horrible jerseys for professional players.

  2. Drizztdj Says:

    Who is the sponsor of the softball team in the pictures?

    Horrible jerseys for professional players.

  3. KenP Says:

    Haven’t been able to get your feed for weeks. This is using NewsFox and when it scans for new post it always draws a red X over you. The red is about the same color as that double-A team you follows hot jersey.

  4. StB Says:

    The totally black ain’t that bad if they were going for the Oakland Raider look.

  5. DuggleBogey Says:

    I totally spaced on the motivations for the color of that jersey until you said the word “ketchup.”

    Very well played sir, I bow to your greatness as a editorialist.

    Heinz field indeed.

  6. BG Says:

    “I see aNOTHER 59-103 season ahead.”

    There. Fixed that for you.

  7. OY Says:

    Those rotten tomato stains will blend in nicely however. and- Lose the damn cutoff look already.

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