Late Payment is Not an Option

Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007, 4:48 pm

Kinda forgot about this, hard as that might be to believe. About a week ago I had to fax something out and walked to my apartment complex’s rental office. Beautiful day, not too cold, blue skies.

The rental office has several conference rooms, a small gym, a big living room with fireplace and kitchen, and an office right off the foyer with two desks and file cabinets. High ceilings, lots of windows, lots of light. The pool is right next door. Cozy little place.

So I walked in to find a young woman I’ve never seen before behind the desk. I say that I’m there to use the fax, she says that’s fine, I do my business and head back out the front door.

And then I see something sitting in the middle of the living room. Something I didn’t expect to see. A couple of weeks ago there was a big Christmas tree. Today…

Today there’s a Gatling gun.

A Gatling gun. Don’t know what a Gatling gun is? Go visit Wikipedia and educate yourself. Not that there’s a pressing need to know what it is, as it’s been obsolete since the late nineteenth century. Unless you count the rotary cannons used in modern attack aircraft. Which I’m not.

Because this friggin’ thing won’t fit in an A-10 Thunderbolt. It’s as big as an artillery piece. Which it is, kinda:

“Um,” I said to the young woman. “That’s a Gatling gun.”

She smiled. “Yes.”

She didn’t clarify further so I said, “Why is there a Gatling gun sitting there in the living room?”

“I don’t know,” she said.

A perfectly acceptable answer so far I was concerned, because what good reason COULD there be for having a Gatling gun sitting there in the lobby? I can’t come up with anything. Better off not knowing the reasons that put it there in the first place. Ignorance = bliss.

It’s a pretty scary looking piece of machinery. Bet it would make a big bang. Anyone know where I can score some ammo?

Think I’ll be paying the rent early this month. To be on the safe side.

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