Two Hundred And Fifty WHAT?

Thursday, January 11th, 2007, 11:56 am

I see today that David Beckham is leaving Real Madrid for the L.A. Galaxy. This is a deal that was rumoured (dig that veddy British “u”, eh, eh?) for quite a long time and comes as no big surprise. Beckham can’t get on the field in Spain, his galactico days are over (some would say they were over before he decamped from Manchester) and he has a soccer academy in L.A. This is a chance for him to conquer some new territory and establish himself in America. Expect to see Victoria and her canteloupian breasts in a number of forgettable flicks very soon.

Here’s the part I don’t get. At all. I mean, this is incomprehensible. According to the piece, Beckham is “set to earn more than $250 million over the duration of his contract.”

TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS??!! Are you freakin’ kidding me? Would you pay $250 million for the entire MLS? Exactly how is Beckham going to generate $50 million in revenue/profit/whatever? Did he agree to allow MLS to harvest his stem cells or something?

I mean, I don’t care if the Galaxy go and win five consecutive MLS Cups. Who friggin’ cares? Is an MLS title worth fifty million bucks? I think not. There’s got to be more to this story than Beckham playing a little footie on this side of the pond and collecting a quarter of a billion dollars.

In the announcement Beckham said this:

“I would like to thank supporters and the people of Madrid who have made my family and I so welcome in my time here making this an extremely difficult decision to make.”

Yeah, I’m sure it was SUCH a difficult decision. Hmm…let’s see…we can stay in Madrid, where I can ride the bench and get ridiculed in the European press and see my career and legacy waste away…or I can go to America, be treated like royalty, putz around in a 2nd-tier (at best) league and make TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS. And, let’s not forget, moving to L.A. will get my ambitious and show-bizzy wife off of my god-damned back.

Mr. Beckham, I think you made the right choice.

UPDATE: The news that David Beckham is Coming to America is now the goddam lead story on CNN. Ahead of such trifles as our President throwing another 20,000 troops at Iraq in the hopes the situation won’t totally disintigrate before he leaves office and dumps his catastrophe on the fool who wins in 2008. Or the fact that Bush now seems especially anxious now to start wars with Iran and/or Syria, news that should make anyone who’s been paying attention the last 6 years shit the proverbial milkshake.

Seriously, concerning this escalation in Iraq, I read this over at Matthew Yglesias’s blog and it cuts to the chase rather nicely:

So to sum up, neither the American military nor the American congress nor the American people nor the Iraqi government nor the Iraqi public wants an American military escalation. Naturally, we’re getting one.

But Becks is coming to play soccer here!! Stop the presses!!

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3 Responses to “Two Hundred And Fifty WHAT?”

  1. Ten Mile Says:

    But, Gene; one we can do something about and the other is a natural train wreck.

    Ah, which?

  2. Darcy Says:

    Dude, I laughed out loud. Thank you.

  3. David Beckham Says:

    Part of the deal is that Iraq will be renamed Spiceworld

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