Burning Down the House!

Monday, July 10th, 2006, 11:53 am

Our closing is set for August 11th. It was originally September 25th. That means I’m probably going to be moving around August 1st. Wow, that’s coming up fast.

Of course, if there isn’t a house to sell that point will be moot. This morning I woke up, read a bit, put the clean dishes away, and made myself a little omelet with the two eggs left in the fridge. I don’t have a toaster, so I turned the broiler on, stuck in two slices of bread, and went to work on the omelet. Added some cheese, flipped the omelet, flipped the toasting bread, and five minutes later I was eating breakfast.

I was about 95% sure I turned the broiler off. Well, that one-outer hit on the river–I hadn’t turned the broiler off. Normally no big deal. However, because I went away for four days, and because the people who bought my house were coming for a tour with their parents, I did some last-second tidying before I left. Including stashing my grilling tools inside the oven. Tools that have wooden handles. Wooden handles covered in rubber.

I ate and started going through my Bloglines folders. From time to time I heard the oven pinging. I thought it was cooling down. No, no, it was heating up. And then I smelled something. Something burning. Something synthetic and acrid. I leapt up, ran to the kitchen, and saw the knob on the stove turned to BROIL. Uh oh. I pulled open the door and inside my grill tools were done to about medium-well. There was smoke–not a lot, but enough to fill the kitchen with a blue haze–and I dumped them in the sink and hit them with cold water, which spattered and hissed against the blazing-hot metal.

I opened every window in the house to let the stink and smoke dissipate. Nice way to start off the week. Glad I didn’t decide to eat out on the porch, or take a siesta in the hammock. Or this might’ve been a much more entertaining post.

Zidane won the Golden Ball as the World Cup’s outstanding player. Surprised he got it over Cannavaro…did he win the award despite the head butt, or because of it? Did he simply do what fans all over the world would like to see done to teams who put such a premium on playacting and wussiness?

Incidentally, if you’d like to see why the Italians won the World Cup, watch this video.

Max Pescatori had a nice day yesterday, yes? Italy wins the World Cup, Max wins a bracelet at the WSOP. And I bet he didn’t dive once.

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One Response to “Burning Down the House!”

  1. Easycure Says:

    At least you did it on accident. The people who owned the house before we did must have thought the price of propane was too much.

    Our neighbors (who were also the parents of the slobs who lived in the house before us) told us how they used the oven for HEATING THE HOUSE. The 10 year old appliance looked like it was 50 years old.

    Needless to say, when we bought the house we had to buy a new oven/range.

    I wonder what the house looked like before they painted it!

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