Stupidity, Weirdness, and Cowboy Down

Sunday, November 6th, 2005, 5:02 pm

Some nonsense to fill a post. I’m watching the Baltimore-Cincinnati game, and they show a crowd shot with some moron draped in purple Mardi Gras beads and Steve Tasker says, “Baltimore fans are the best in the NFL!”

This is the stupidest thing I’ve heard a CBS broadcaster say all year, and as you might expect Tasker was up against some stiff competition. A friend of mine lives in Baltimore, and he’s gone to several Steeler-Raven games, and every game there are thousands of fans wearing Black-and-Gold. Then before the game ends they show those fans leaving in droves and booing their team. Now, I’m not saying that doesn’t happen in Pittsburgh, and I’m not saying that the Ravens don’t have their die-hard fans. But if you’re talking about the best fans in the NFL, usually you hear about Pittsburgh, Green Bay, Kansas City, Denver. Baltimore?

Tasker later talked about how a blown call by the refs might affect the Ravens’ psyche. Which he pronounced “sike”. Seriously, I could walk into the broadcast booth cold and do a better job than 95% of the yutzes they inflict upon us.

Moving from silly sports people to scary government people, you might not want to play poker against Tom Coburn, a Republican senator from Oklahoma. From Meet the Press:

SEN. COBURN on John Roberts: “I’ve tried to use my medical skills of observation of body language to ascertain your uncomfortableness and ill at ease with questions and responses. I will tell you that I am very pleased both in my observational capabilities as a physician to know that your answers have been honest and forthright as I watch the rest of your body respond to the stress that you’re under.”

MR. RUSSERT: “Do you believe as a physician you can tell whether a candidate for the Supreme Court is telling the truth?”

SEN. COBURN: “Mm-hm, I certainly have.”

MR. RUSSERT: “Has any–have you ever detected someone lying?”

SEN. COBURN: “Uh-huh, lots of times.”

Yup, he can look at a guy and tell if he’s lying or not. Or, in Roberts’ case, if he’s telling the truth. Let me jump to the front of the line offering to pony up for Coburn’s buy-in to the WSOP next year. A can’t miss investment.

I’ve been reading Daniel Negreanu’s posts about playing in the big cash game that will be broadcast on GSN. After that network’s ghastly “Battle of the Sexes” show it looks like they might be a long way toward redeeming themselves. Sounds like its gonna make for fabulous TV. After watching so many no-limit Hold-Em events seeing something different would be most welcome. Now if they’d show a high-limit rotation game…but that seems a bit much to ask for.

A guy I work with hosted a poker game last night and I was pleased to leave 7 hours later with the same amount of cash that I brought. Played well, won the last tournament, and survived some bad luck with pocket kings. Down to five the chip leader raised, a short-stack went all-in, and not too chip-healthy myself I went all-in with cowboys. I was up against A-8 and A-5, which looked good for me until an ace appeared in the door when the flop was dealt. Next tournament we’re down to three and, after crippling one other player, I again go all-in with kings. The small blind is already all-in, and the chip leader calls. He turns over 9-6, the small blind plays it blind to the river. The flop comes 8-9-10.–yuck. A jack on the turn gives me an itch, but when a six spikes on the river the chip leader beats me with two ragged pair. And then the small blind finds he has a queen and I’m out in 3rd place. Cost me twenty bucks, it did.

But I played pretty good, even after I drank my 20th beer. I was channelling Ted Forrest that last game, it was 2:30AM, I’d been up since 7AM, I’d only had 6 hours of sleep, and I was pretty buzzed. But if Forrest can play for 100 hours straight, I can bring my A-game for one more tournament.

Talk about your weird weather. Heading toward mid-November and it’s over 70 here in the ‘Burgh. Then we have a cell move through with such violent winds it ripped up a tree in my neighbor’s yard. It’s still windy out, but it’s sunny and warm again.

Back to watching football. Looking to load up on a double helping of cheese this weekend, what with my Nittany Lions feasting on Badger and the Steelers up 13-3 on the Pack. I love cheese.

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3 Responses to “Stupidity, Weirdness, and Cowboy Down”

  1. Mourn Says:

    That interview with Coburn was fucking scary. There’s no other way to put it.

  2. JoeSpeaker Says:

    Are you familiar with Dr. Paul Ekman?

    He’s catalogued every facial expression down singlular muscle movement. THAT is a guy you don’t want to play poker with. Pretty interesting chapter about him in Malcolm Gladwell’s “Blink.”

  3. DuggleBogey Says:

    Speaking from an Oklahoma perspective on Coburn, he is a class A, number one MOE-RON. His MD stands for moron douchebag.

    And while it might be debatable who has the best fans (and Baltimore doesn’t last long in that debate) there is no debate in my mind about which city has the worst fans….Philadelphia. It doesn’t take too many folks with a D-Cell battery lodged in their skull to know that.

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