A Sense of Decorum

Tuesday, October 25th, 2005, 10:11 pm

I just got knocked out of a SNG on rather a frustrating hand. I was down to about T580 thanks to a cold deck and one hand I had to fold on the river, when I picked up pocket kings in the big blind. Before it got to me it’d been raised to T125 and two other players called. I go all-in, and all three of these bozos call. Awesome.

The flop comes Q-Q-Q, and I get that oogie feeling. One guy bets, one guy raises, and they all end up calling. The turn is a five, and another guy short-stacked goes all-in. The other two call. The river is a king, giving me the best possible boat. I only have to worry about a queen. The one guy goes all-in, the other calls, and the one guy turns up QJ. He raised T125 with QJ and then called an all-in re-raise with QJ.

I handled it well. I had to–Party no longer allows you to chat if you’re just an observer. No more counseling players on how goddam much they suck. I was only trying to help.

Ahh, I know better. But it’s hard not to flip out at times. Though I wonder if being on TV would change how I react to a tough hand. I’m pretty sure I know the answer to that question–I’d be much, much better behaved. I wouldn’t jump up and down after I won a big hand, I wouldn’t belittle another player who sucked out on me. I would be calm, cool, and collected. I would FORCE myself to be calm, cool, and collected. Because I do not not want millions of people to see me acting as I just did when that jackass called me with QJ.

And because I don’t want to end up like the poor guy they just showed on the World Series (Adam…Aaron…I can’t remember his last name and anyway I don’t want the vultures Googling his name to end up here). He calls with the 2nd nut flush, and gives away $162K in chips to a guy with the nut flush. And then he starts crying. Well, not crying, but there’s defintely some choking up and, yes, a few tears. And ESPN, to its discredit, keeps the camera close up on his face for what seems an eternity. If you’re thinking about calling, and you know that you’re going to burst into tears on national TV if you lose the hand, your cards should go in the muck. I don’t know how you factor that into your pot odds and game theory calculatons, I guess that’s on the individual.

Steve Dannemann became a strong contender in the Guy Who Makes A Complete Ass of Himself race with his cell phone call after he bluffed Howard Lederer. Bluffing Howard Lederer–good. Calling your friends immediately afterwards and bragging about it and how Lederer looks like a beaten dog (or something like that, I didn’t tape the show)–that’s very, very bad. It was just one hand, and Dannemann ended up giving those chips right back to Lederer. Dannemann will of course get plenty of chances to redeem (or condemn) himself as the tournament progresses.

The current front-runner in the GWMACAH contest is that Beckham-loving Barry guy from Britain–yeah, he’s obviously the guy Otis and Pauly reported had some B.O. issues. He did pose a good question–can you be penalized for stinking like a bucket of dead trout? If you’re allowed to talk non-stop, if you’re allowed to dress with a total disregard for color, fit, or style, why can’t you stink? Really really bad? Maybe there needs to be some sort of democratic system put into place for each table, where after a vote they can demand action be taken against a player who crosses the line from mere irritability to toxicity. Perhaps smell should be dealt with more strictly than poor fashion sense–I’m not going to catch diptheria from a guy just because he’s wearing a rust-colored leisure suit.

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3 Responses to “A Sense of Decorum”

  1. Donkeypuncher Says:

    Dammit Gene!
    You beat me to another WSOP writeup! Of course, all of blogdom should be thanksful, as you did a much better job than I would have.

    How about those images of Lederer in a XXXL?

    BTW, if the Illinois women’s rugby team woulda done much better against Penn’s state on Saturday. Please don’t insult them like that…

  2. DuggleBogey Says:

    Yeah, I don’t get how Lederer can be so large and still be a vegetarian…and he’s had a gastric bypass!

    There should be a rule that you can be loud and obnoxious, or you can smell obnoxious (maybe that should just be noxious) but if you do both, you’re disqualified.

  3. Deal'em Says:

    Where is Tom Hanks when you need him? There is no crying in poker! Swearing, screaming, fighting, loss of breath, shock and awe…all good stuff, but definitely leave the tender hanky at home and dry those eyes. For that matter, moaning that your opponent “walked on water that hand” when he flops top set to your middle set in Omaha (earlier ESPN segment) and you go bust after trapping is also a no-no, Mr. Helmuth.

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