Keep it Random

Monday, October 10th, 2005, 12:39 pm

Nothing much to talk about today, so let’s see if I can cobble together a post. Lots of folks writing about PartyPoker’s decision to decouple itself from its skins (Empire, Multi, etc). Is this no big deal or does it represent a sea change in the online poker world. Personally, I have no goddam idea. But after reading Bill’s post I began metaphorically storing up bottled water and putting up preserves. And that was even before I read about Otis’s personal nightmare scenario. It’ll be interesting to see how things shake out.

I may go to the bar this week to play in the tournament there tomorrow or Wednesday. Just for a lark, get some chips in front of me and some live targets, have a few beers, have a little fun. I’ll be smart this time–since you get more chips if you eat and drink there, I’ll arrive starving and dehydrated. Wouldn’t that be a great title for a book about dating, “Arrive Starving and Dehydrated”.

I read on CNN the other day about a book called The Game, which was written by a guy from Rolling Stone and its about foolproof techniques for guys to pick up any girl they want. What struck me about the article was how the AP writer described the guy who wrote the book (his name’s Neil Strauss, sorry). The AP’er said that Strauss, who has a shaved head and goatee, resembles “an emaciated Howie Mandel”. Isn’t this grounds for slander, libel, defamation? If someone described me in print as “a right-handed and even fatter Phil Mickelson” there would be blood-spray on the walls.

The book is 464 pages long. Women, really, be honest–do guys actually have to process 464 pages of information just to get you to go out with us? Isn’t it enough for us to be kind, considerating, caring…heh…snicker…sorry, I couldn’t keep a straight face there. For some of us the book could be 46,444 words long and it wouldn’t get us to first base. I’m not referring to myself, of course, goodness no.

Here’s a line from an Amazon reviewer of the book: “…to say that this book is about picking up chicks is just like saying that Moby Dick is about a whale”. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a candidate for 2005 Gross Overstatement of the Year.

November is just a few weeks away, which to the writing sort among us means that National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is almost here. Last year I thought about giving it a try, but I didn’t have the time. This year I don’t have the time either, but instead of just giving it a miss I thought that sharing the burden might be a good idea. So my friend Jeff and I might collaborate and share the writing duties. I write a bit, leave it off in the middle of a chapter (or a paragraph, or a sentence) and he picks it up. Like Barney Gumble and Linda Ronstadt, we’ve been looking for a project to work on together, so this might be it. It’s gonna be the literary equivalent of the Traveling Wilburys…wait…no…that’s not good…that’s very, very bad…let’s try again. It’s gonna be the literary equivalent of Blind Faith. Much better analogy. More sex and drugs, fewer rocking chairs.

Actually…if I could pick five authors to write a collaborative novel…I’d pick:

James Ellroy
P.G. Wodehouse
Lester Bangs
Elmore Leonard
Michael Chabon

Never mind that two of them are dead. “Bertie Wooster, I’d like you to meet Dudley Smith”. Christ, you could write a novel just riffing off that line. The mere idea of Dudley Smith inhabiting the same universe as Bertie Wooster, that he’d be walking around the grounds of Totleigh Towers…it gives me the all-over creeps.

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