Partial Nudity and Alleged Journalism

Thursday, June 16th, 2005, 12:46 pm

My second column is up at Barstool Sports, where the cover girl is wearing, or not wearing, rather an interesting outfit. I wonder if there’s a market in Pittsburgh for a sports/gambling/chicks magazine that would allow me to walk up to attractive young women and ask if they want to pose for me in various states of déshabille?

Not to sound mawkish, but if you want to read something uplifting check out this post from Pauly. If the Poker Gods exist they should shower Marcel Luske with chips this year. Hopefully we’ll be hearing more good news about Charlie in the future.

What else? Oh, Mike Tyson lost last Saturday night to Kevin McBride. Isn’t he the guy Scotty Nguyen beat to win the 1998 WSOP? They’re not the same guy? You’re sure?

There’s been wall-to-wall coverage of the girl missing in Aruba. It’s a terrible thing, for her family and community, but again Big Media has decided that a missing girl is worth 24/7 coverage while, oh, the war in Iraq and al-Qaeda and the economy is worth about 15 seconds apiece. Here’s a question–from what I’ve read 120 students from this high school went on a chaperoned trip to Aruba to celebrate their graduation. Um, I guess high schools have changed a bit since I graduated. When I graduated my high school did…dick. We had a ceremony and then they ordered us off the property. Me and my buddies went crazy and played a quick 9 holes after our last day of school (and I had to hustle to work after that).

Going off to the Caribbean seems remarkably indulgent. I mean, in five years, are you going to see diplomas handed out during graduation keggers while strippers wearing only their mortar boards give lap dances to the valedictorian? Graduating from high school doesn’t impress me. I graduated from high school. When you get your second Ph.D, then we’ll hit the beach. Beyond that, I’m sorry, an afternoon at the water slide should suffice for the newly-minted high school grad.

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6 Responses to “Partial Nudity and Alleged Journalism”

  1. BG Says:

    I’m going to have to pull rank here… You can’t use “deshabille” and “mawkish” with only three words in between. Are you trying to say you’re better than me?

    O’Doyles rule!

    Anyway, in what is an article that will probably go up on later (and probably bomb miserably, I’m still unsure it was a good idea), I did an interview with Poque The First, God of Online Poker.

    The poker gods are real – and they ain’t just playing around.

  2. DuggleBogey Says:

    That girl went to Mountain Brook High School in Birmingham Alabama. The media calls her “Alabama Teen” in hopes of conjuring thoughts of poor ass dirt farmer girl. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Mountain Brook is among the highest priced homes in Alabama, and is the highest funded school in Alabama, thanks to the archaic and racist school funding laws there.

    Incidentally, Courntey Cox (Arquette) went there.

  3. DuggleBogey Says:

    Meant to say amongst, not among.

  4. Human Head Says:

    MTV has convinced a whole new generation that graduating HS is a momentous achievement and that they deserve a trip for all of their hard work and trouble. I mean after all, if it weren’t for stupid HS they would all be in the movies and have albums, right?

    A trip to a tropical locale is the least their parents could do for them after all of the trials and tribulations they endure.

    (JIC it didn’t come through clearly, HEAVY sarcasm intended)

  5. Easycure Says:

    My kids will get what I got. My attendence at the graduation and a new watch.

    Great job brat!

  6. dona Says:

    great site!! please go on!!

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