Bring On The Nonsense

Friday, April 22nd, 2005, 1:04 pm

I know I said I’d be writing something for BadBlood’s WSOP Dream Scenario thingy, but there’s no way I’ll get it done by Sunday as I’m up to my armpits in stuff. And because I’m genetically incapable of writing a brief little blurb intended to amuse. This thing in my head is more like a goddam novella, and the question as to whether writing a 10,000 word blob is positive EV seems an easy one to answer.

I won’t be playing in the blogger satellite, alas, as I rolled the dice and failed to parlay my last $7 into the $33 required to enter. Not that I could’ve gone anyway, but it would’ve been fun. I played a SNG, and I thought that my attention would be focused on cashing so I could live to fight another day. I did play supertight and didn’t waste chips, until one hand when I blew it all. Was dealt A-10, flopped an ace, bet gingerly with my weak kicker, turned a ten that gave me 2 pair but made anyone holding KQ a straight, and of course that’s how it ended up, my two pair losing to Broadway. A terrible play on my part, but I feel somewhat better in that another guy went all-in holding A-4, a lonely pair with a terrible kicker his claim to the pot.

I haven’t played much lately, but from reading other people’s blogs, have the fish out there gotten WORSE? It seems like everyone is raking in pots when they aren’t enduring even more appalling beats. Just remember to throw a few back so there’s still something left for me.

The NFL Draft is tomorrow, and I’ll probably stop my labors from time to time to see what’s happening. The Steelers won’t be selecting until about 11:30PM so I might as well be productive instead of just wasting the entire day. If you can call watching the Draft “wasting” the day, instead of a glorious exercise of male sloth. My buddy Mark is going to be at a wedding in D.C. tomorrow and is going to miss the whole thing, and he told me that if he were in my position he’d be sit on the couch for the whole day eating cheese curls and drinking orange pop. A man who knows what it’s all about.

There is no consensus about who the Steelers might pick. At first everyone thought we’d grab a corner, but as Heath Miller’s stock slid due to his injury more and more mock drafts projected him going to us. Thing is, the Steelers don’t throw to their tight end much, never have, and even if Miller would be a steal at #30 there’s no point in using a first-rounder on a position you de-emphasize.

I’ve been hoping the Steelers might grab Arkansas QB/WR/TE/FN Matt Jones, who Chris Mortensen of ESPN said will end up as the best player out of this draft. Jones is 7’2”, runs the 40 in 3.6 seconds, has a vertical leap of 58 inches, and has a third eye growing out of the back of his head. Well, perhaps I exaggerate, but this FN (Freak of Nature) would be an ideal replacement for Plaxico Burress, and as the Steelers have had considerable success turning college QBs into WRs (Kordell Stewart, Hines Ward, Antwaan Randle-El) Jones would be coming into an ideal situation. But from what I’ve read the Steelers don’t seem anxious to use a first-round pick on such a project. Could be a smokescreen, but I don’t think so.

Now everyone has Ole Miss guard Marcus Williams going to the Black and Gold. Which would be a savvy selection, in my humble opinion. We desperately need OL depth, and Williams can play both guard and tackle. The Steelers have done good business using high picks on unsexy linemen (Faneca, Hampton, Simmons) who went on to Pro Bowl status. It would not surprise me to see them go in that direction again. It would be nice if they could trade down and gather some extra picks and still get Williams, but if that’s not in the cards, so be it.

It was one year ago today that my aformentioned friend Mark and I headed to New York City in a doomed attempt to witness the Draft with our own eyes. Can’t believe its been a year already…but it has. If you’re having a slow day at work or enjoy reading about people’s dreams being crushed by heartless corporations, I once again invite to read these mega-posts pulled from my archives:

The Weekend of Our Discontent, Part I
The Weekend Etc Etc, Part II

If I do happen to watch the Draft I may do some liveblogging, but as I probably won’t be watching, I probably won’t be blogging. Equivocable enough for you? Sheesh.

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