Some Random Thoughts

Sunday, April 10th, 2005, 12:52 am

An evening spent writing (yes, I party hard) so why not end the night by writing some more? Beautiful day in the ‘Burgh, which I spent part of laboring in the back yard. “Pave suburbia”, that’s the bumper sticker I want. I have goddam mint growing everywhere and this goddam lemongrassy stuff everywhere and it’s indescructable. I dig it up, I poison it, I spit on it, I curse it. With no success. Short of calling in an airstrike I don’t know what to do.

I watched the NCAA hockey game tonight, which only reinforced to me how much I miss the NHL. I know I’m only one of 17 people south of the border who feel this way, but even though my Penguins might have been El Stinko this year there’s little in sports that can match the glory that is the Stanley Cup playoffs. And is there an announcing group in any sport that can match Gary Thorne, Barry Melrose, Darren Pang, Bill Clement, and Brian Engblum? The answer is no. ESPN should have had Melrose calling the NIT games, the Women’s NCAA, bowling, curling…get this man out of storage and back in front of a microphone.

So I sort-of watched the game while I worked, and they have a gizmo called “dasher-cam” that’s I’ve heard about. It’s a camera mounted on a track along the side boards, and it can zoom back and forth and give you a really neat view of the ice. Smart move, the NHL needs to make the game more attractive for TV. The only thing is, the dasher-cam gave me motion sickness. I’d watch a 3-on-2 break and the camera would glide along and I’d feel my stomach go “blurdy-blurp”. It didn’t happen every time, but a couple of times I had to look away else I turn green. And I’m not the sort who normally feels this way. I played “Doom” and “Quake” and all those first-person shooter games with nary a hard swallow. Maybe it was just something I ate.

So, my stomach feeling queasy, I decided to watch The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover. I know, what was I thinking? This being a movie that’s liable to put you off eating for about a month. Have you seen this movie? I absolutely loved it. If you thought it was the worst thing you have ever seen in your life, I’d understand where you were coming from.

Iwas discussing the movie with a friend once and someone asked me, “What’s it about?”

Um…well…it’s like…um…

It’s not a film that lends itself to a simple plot synopsis. Suffice to say, this is NOT a movie to rent for a first date. This bears repeating: Do NOT rent The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover if you and a special someone are getting together for the first time. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. The conversation that follows will move in directions that you and your friend may not want to venture to yet.

Tomorrow (well, today) I’m heading to my parents’ house for a little family poker game. My dad, brother, a collection of uncles and cousins. We’ll play the usual ludicrous games with nine wild cards, the kind where you make a king-high straight flush with one card to come and you muck your hand because you have NO CHANCE to win. A few beers, a nice sandwich or two, and some Boston Cream Pie. I don’t know why, but whenever we have a family poker game there’s always Boston Cream Pie. I think my Uncle Bob likes it. I plan on getting nicely drunk and enjoying the clink of chips and the waxy feel of fresh cards.

Flipping around, the Battle of the Sexes is on GSN again. I forgot how much I hated the announcers. That show sucked, the newest incarnation of the Poker Superstars sucks, I haven’t seen the new celebrity poker show yet, so I cannot say yet if it sucks. When I find out if it sucks, I’ll let you know. Hey, here’s an idea for a future post–what poker show should they be putting on out there? Instead of these contrived teams or ludicrous blind structures or celebrity slogfests? Have to think about this one a bit.

Sorry I haven’t been posting much lately, I have two articles I’m finishing up and maybe even the odd short story will be done soon. Maybe get up early to finish the one up. I hate having half-written stuff hanging over me. It really weighs on me. I’d love to be locked up in a cabin for about a week to finish all the stuf I have hanging in limbo. Like Jack Nicholson in The Shining.

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6 Responses to “Some Random Thoughts”

  1. Shelly Says:

    I am one of the 17 in mourning along with you at the demise of the NHL. Before you hate me for my allegiance, I do own 3 Pens sweaters! I swear! 🙂 And the NHL’s announcers cannot be beat. Oh, sad…

  2. Diane Says:

    About “The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover. An awesome movie. Visually stunning. But what I recall most readily was the constant stream of people leaving the theater, from the opening credits, until about half way through it. I suppose by then, all the weak stomached people had left.

  3. John-Paul Says:

    Dammit I miss the NHL too! Of course, I’m NORTH of the border, so its a given that I miss it. Still, bring hockey back…

    I can’t wait for the World Championships to begin later this month. At least I’ll get a 2 week hockey fix when that’s on.

  4. Drizztdj Says:

    I haven’t forgiven the Pens from beating the North Stars in the Stanley Cup yet.

    Probably never will.

  5. Adam Says:

    I’m about a week late commenting on this, but I just found this blog (which I’m enjoying btw) and had to comment on the hockey post.

    You’re absolutely right about those announcers. They’re fantastic. Nobody else in any sport comes close.

    I saw a bit of the NCAA finals, and I have to say that the problem with the dasher cam was that I was watching the game in HD, but the dasher cam wasn’t in HD for some reason. So everytime they switched to it it just looked blurry. Very distracting.

  6. helixx Says:

    “The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover” is the only time I almost lost my dinner (which was pork, ironically) while watching a movie. a visual feast, an amazing story, one of Greenaway’s best, but good freakin lordy….

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