Thoughts, Coming at Random

Tuesday, October 5th, 2004, 1:52 pm

Let me ask a question–at the end of Rounders, Mike McD is playing heads up with Teddy KGB. He had the money to pay Teddy back, but decided to play on and now he’s down. “Byahad jahudegemyent,” Teddy gloats. The tension rises, as Mike has to pay Teddy ten grand by morning or else.

What, exactly, are we to think Teddy is going to do to Mike? I’m curious as to what people think. It’s never spelled out, it’s never made explicit what Mike’s fate will be. So, dear readers, whaddya think was gonna happen?

Another Rounders question– that last hand, what do you think Teddy had? Mike had the nut straight, Teddy seemed totally stunned that he lost…what hand could Teddy have had that would have induced him to bet into the nuts?

I could write a whole mega-post about Rounders–in fact, one is badly overdue. With ESPN due to launch a show called Tilt I think that subject must be addressed. I think it’s a good movie, but far from great, and certainly not THE definitive poker movie. That movie hasn’t been made yet, probably never will be made. But Rounders ain’t it.

Mike Sexton had an interesting column in this month’s CardPlayer, in part arguing that players should not be allowed to wear sunglasses at the table. The very first thing I ever wrote about poker was a question on a newsgroup asking if you could wear a welders mask when you sat down, or a deep-sea diving helmet. Or, could you have your entire face Botoxed, so any tell you might have would be erased by paralyzing toxins? One thing I noticed about the Tournament of Champions show–only 1 player was wearing shades, and that was Phil Hellmuth, who I guess is sponsored by Oakley, as he was also wearing an Oakley sweatshirt. OK, Greg Raymer wore his spooky sunglasses, but only when he was in a hand, and as even he said, he doubted it would help him at that table.

My God, no new poker shows until, what, March? I mean no WPT and no WSOP. I watched a bit of the Ultimate Poker Challenge, and didn’t really enjoy it too much. Same with Fox’s Poker Superstars show. I keep forgetting to watch and/or tape the old WSOP shows appearing on ESPN Classic. I only have like 75 hours of videotaped poker content on my shelves…what am I to do?

Haven’t played poker in quite awhile. Miss it? Oh, yes. But I’m keeping my promise, gotta get a job, sigh. Won’t be playing in the next blogger tournament, both because the poker bankroll is at $0.73 and because I have volleyball Thursday night. Have I mentioned that I’ve become a holy terror the last few months? Haulin’ my fat ass into very-low-Earth orbit 50 times a night is playing hell with my knees and ankles, but I’ve been playing well.

If you’ve noticed I haven’t been posting much, you’ll have to get used to it. During the month of November I’ll be writing a whole bunch, just not here. I’ll be participating in National Novel Writing Month, which is, uh, a thing where people across the nation try to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. I’m going to set up a separate blog and post my novel as it goes. I’m confident I’ll be able to crank at that level and get it done. I’ve gotten comments of support from Pauly and Jason, and come November 1 I’ll be hard at work.

Yes, the novel does have lots of poker in it. It’ll hopefully be funny, as that will be my intent. I don’t have the URL for my writing blog yet. I’ve been pondering what to call it, and so far I’ve been flummoxed. I thought about calling it “The Write Stuff“, but that name was taken by some blogger who hasn’t posted anything in two years. Then I thought about calling it “Only a Fool”, as in the Samuel Johnson quote, “Only a fool wrote for any reason other than money”. No, that was taken too, by some girl whining about why some boy doesn’t like her. Oddly, she also spent some time in Pittsburgh, rather a coincidink. She also hasn’t posted in over a year. Isn’t there some statute of limitations, if you don’t post in a 12-month period you lose your name? I’ve been thinking of calling it “Guinness and Poker Writing”, but I don’t want to spend the next three years in litigation.

Some folks have asked if I read the novel “King of a Small World”, which is about a poker player. I have, sort of. Every time I go to Borders or Barnes and Noble I grab a copy and blast through a few dozen pages. I like it, good stuff, but I haven’t bought it yet or hunted it down in my library. Probably should do that someday

A post about the Presidential campaign will come before the election. I’m so underwhelmed that I’ve been thinking about rejoining the race. Y’all know I started blogging because I decided to run for President after I turned 35? If you know that, you are definitely a longtime listener

I’ve figured out how to post pictures to this blog, just none today. This past week I had my picture taken with a famous celebrity, and I was going to scan and post it, but my goddam scanner isn’t working now. I’ll get it up eventually. Was really a big thrill, got goosebumps even. But you’ll have to wait, alas. Sorry.

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8 Responses to “Thoughts, Coming at Random”

  1. Dr. Pauly Says:

    Hey Mean Gene a few things,

    I agree about the shades. They should be outlawed.

    The O on Phil’s shirt is the logo for the show at the Bellagio “O”. Right? That’s what I took it as right away. The only time I met Phil was at the Bellagio, the place where he pretty much plays most of his Vegas cash games. It’d make sense that he’s pitch the Bellagio’s show.

    Good luck (again) with the novel. I’ve written four to date and they are each like climbing a mountain. The easy part is starting. The hard part is finishing… as strong as you started. I’m going to be taking a hiatus as well to work on NaNo as my next major writing project… even moving out of the city for the duration to an undisclosed location to crank out my madness.

    Looking forward to reading yours.

  2. Anonymous Says:

    How ’bout “Mean Gene Writing Machine”? Corny I know, but its what came to mind for your struggle. Good Luck! habsfanca11

  3. NemoD Says:

    i’m pretty sure teddy kgb was talking about a metaphorical fucking. he’d probably have someone break the kid’s bones or something. i mean he could kill him, but where’s the fun in that?

  4. Anonymous Says:

    Bill Simmons, on ESPN, posted something like this on his page a while ago. About 3/5th of the way down, here:

    Good column!

  5. Anonymous Says:

    What would Teddy do to Mikey? It seems the movie writers wanted you to believe he’d kill him, or at least badly beat him. Personally, I think that’s unlikely.

    Teddy is not presented as either psycopathic or stupid – the obvious thing to do would to take ownership of Mike, and make him play for the house in his club until such time as he had repaid his debt and a whole lot more.

    Teddy knows Mike is a great poker player, he believes he’s better, of course, but he knows that Mike is one of the best players to come into his club. Organised crime is about the money – and Mikey would be what they would call a “good earner”.

    They probably would have killed Worm though.

  6. Drizztdj Says:

    KGB had to have the pocket rockets… why else would he say “that card could not have helped you” after the Ace of spade fell?

  7. SirFWALGMan Says:

    I think that first they would have killed Worm nice and slowly while Mike watched. Knowing that something like this would be his fate. After like a few hours (days?) of killing worm they would have killed Mike. Again slowly and painfully. You cannot let people think they *might* get away with ripping you off if you are the mob.

    Now if I could take poetic justice and make my own ending, Teddy blinds Mike and breaks his fingers so he can never play Poker again. However in Rounders II Mike comes back and since he is blind and has braile cards his concentration has improved so much that he is a super-poker master. His hands are still screwed up so he cannot do chip tricks, but he can still play. Think Daredeville meets Poker. Obviously the sequel is not as good as the original.

  8. Charles Star Says:

    I’m shocked that you don’t like Poker Superstars. With the exception of Michael Konik’s infuriating commentary, I think the show is great. (Konik is a good enough writer, but he is really tedious to listen to.)

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