Exorcism, maybe?

Saturday, January 3rd, 2004, 7:13 pm

I’m hemmoraging chips. I played for about an hour today, hour and a half, and lost another $22. My confidence is shot. I really can’t imagine ever winning a hand again. I actually got up a bit today after starting slow, and then I just bled chips non-stop. I had AK three times in 10 hands and never flopped a pair. I had pocket 8s and pocket 10s, made trips, and saw straights and flushes appear by the turn. At least those I threw away. I made one terrible play, betting my top pair all the way to the river when I knew the other guy had a huge pocket pair. He did, aces, tho he didn’t raise them preflop. I got beat with pocket queens by 4-7 offsuit when he hit his second pair on the turn. He called my raise in middle position with 4-7 offsuit.

I don’t know what to do. I play tight I get beat by shit. I play aggressive and I get six callers. I get garbage for an hour straight and leak chips, and when I finally get a somewhat playable hand I’m up against three guys with monsters. I’m down to $50 in my bankroll. I’m down $100 since New Year’s Day. If this doesn’t change my poker career won’t last the weekend. If you notice that I’m no longer posting here you can assume I crapped out.

I understand there will be rough spots. But I’ve played maybe 15 hours the last 3 days and I don’t think I’ve had an hour where I’ve won more than one hand. I don’t think I’ve won a pot over $7 in this time. I’m just absolutely getting murdered. It’s like the Perfect Storm, the perfect combination of elements–I’m getting terrible cards, I’m getting terrible luck, my opponents are pulling cards out of thin air, and I’m playing like garbage. I’m trying very hard not to tilt but I’m sure my play has gotten crummy because I’m losing my mind.

Well, I’m stepping away from the table for today, and for tomorrow. No poker for at least 48 hours. Get my head together, let the black cloud that’s hanging over me blow away. I still have $50, enough to last a bit at this level. I have to get my confidence back. I have to remember that I’m NOT a fish. I have to turn it around.

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