Celebrity "Poker"

Tuesday, December 9th, 2003, 10:42 pm

I put poker in quotes because, come on, these folks ain’t playing poker the way you and I play it. Or the way those dogs play in that famous picture play. Man, these West Wing actors are bloody awful. Now, let’s be real–they’re playing for fun, they’re having fun, it’s all about having fun. And for charity. But, whilkers! They reek! They reek large!

Martin Sheen admitted later that he’d never, every played Hold ’em before. That’s the difference between me and a big Hollywood star, if I knew I was going to be playing poker on national TV you bet your ass I’d be reading up a bit. But for Marty, eh, he’s got more important things to do, so let’s have some fun and get on with the business of being incredibly rich and famous.

The show is still going on, but I must amend my prediction. Busfield will win unless something really weird happens. He seems to have some inkling about how to play and how to use his chips, while the others are utterly clueless.

Speaking of clueless, I think Phil Gordon didn’t have a clue when he signed up for this thing. He’s giving expert commentary for an event where no one has an inkling what the hell he’s talking about. Poor Phil makes these intelligent points about position, aggression, and using chips, and it’s obvious that he might as well be speaking ancient Greek to these people. Phil is like the nerd who knows everything about computers, but only gets asked his advice from the cool kids looking to hack into hardcore porn sites. A poor analogy, but I think you get my point.

Mind you, I’m not hacking on Phil Gordon. More like I’m hacking on his agent. I can just imagine the ribbing he’s getting from his fellow pros about trying to think up a polite way to say that calling a raise with 7-4 offsuit is friggin’ nuts. Phil doesn’t seem too comfortable there next to Kevin Pollack, does he? The smile is a tad forced, I think he expected the play to be a wee bit above “cretin” and he feels the first few drops of flopsweat beading on his forehead.

Poor Allison Janney, going up against quads with her robust bottom pair. I like Allison, I have a friend who’s a dead ringer for her, especially when she smiles. She, like Emily Procter, can play at my table whenever she’s in town.

Permanent link to this post.

Leave a Reply