Jerky Boys

Sunday, May 31st, 2009, 6:50 pm

This year the new lead sponsor of the World Series of Poker is Jack Link’s Beef Jerky. In every way imaginable this was an improvement over Milwaukee’s Best Light. OK, maybe beer sales dwarf jerky purchases but Beast Light is not an acceptable beverage. Two years ago I was sitting in the Milwaukee’s Best Light Lounge (the raised seating area above the final table stage) and decided to have a brew. For two dollars I got 12oz of Beast Light in a plastic cup and to quote Jean-Paul Sartre, it was deeeesgustang. I literally had to pop a peppermint Live Saver in my mouth before I could choke it down. And those who know me know I don’t finick much about beer.

So I applauded the switch to Jack Link’s. I like their “Messin’ with Sasquatch” commercials and I enjoy a nice hunk of dried, extruded meat. Heck, to my mind beer, jerky, and poker make for a perfect evening. The multiple trips to the restroom when the evening’s over might be less than perfect, but you gotta take the bitter with the sweet.

The other day there were two big cardboard displays packed with free samples of Jack Link’s jerky. If you went to the Poker Kitchen a pouch of jerky would run you ten bucks. But they were giving it away gratis to members of the working press. So Al grabbed a pouch of pepper jerky and we wolfed it down and then I grabbed some teriyaki jerky and we ate that up all gone. Pauly and Jen both seemed to think the teriyaki was the big winner so I ran back and grabbed another bags. In all we wolfed down about $60 worth of spiced, dehydrated cow. That’s not something I’m proud of. I had some trouble looking at myself in the mirror when I got home.

I didn’t see any jerky in the media room yesterday, but in truth I didn’t look to hard. I don’t think my pancreas was preparted for another full-on jerky onslaught. Today I had my first meal from the Poker Kitchen, a chicken BLT wrap that was OK (tho not nearly as good as last night’s In & Out Burger, my first) and then I wolfed down the chocolate-chip muffin Al brought me from Seattle’s Best. Felt good to have a healthy appetite for a change, but when I stopped in the media room to see if the live-feed of the $40,000 Anniversary Hold-Em I saw they had these little 50-calorie bags of Beef Steak Nuggets. Not sure why they felt compelled to use both “beef” and “steak” on the label, I mean, what other sort of steak might it be? Uh, maybe it’s best not to think on that.

I’m ashamed to admit that the word “nugget” triggers a Pavlovian response with me, and when you add the words “beef” and “steak” and alongside I’m powerless to resist. So I took one back to my seat and shared it with Al. There were only about 6 nuggets in the bag, just enough to give me a taste but not leave me bloated. They were appropriately moist and spicy and had that delicious, ephemeral nuggety quality.

The $40K tournament finally got underway and me and Pauly and Benjo relocated to the media room to watch the live feed. Seth Palansky, the WSOP Media Director, brought over a great whopping huge box of yummy, yummy Beef Steak Nuggets. The big bags, not the little pouches. Putting temptation right before us. Oh, my aching sweetbreads. Is this going to be the Summer of Jerky? Will I be able to resist eating 50 kilos of sticky meat over the course of the WSOP? Will Pauly become the Jack Link’s ambassador within the pokerblogging community? He seems a natural:

There’s an open bag ‘o nuggets right at my elbow. There’s about $300 of jerky in a box right behind me. I can’t help thinking that my cousin Terry should be here–now there’s a man who admires the juxtopositon of meat and evaporation. I must resist. I will resist. But for how long?

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One Response to “Jerky Boys”

  1. Neia Says:

    Mine fave meal if you will that I don’t have to cook is beef jerky I am a jerky fanatic thguoh. My second favorite would probably be trail mix. Not anyone in particular because I like to mix it up no pun intended lol +4

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