Maintaining Radio Silence

Tuesday, March 17th, 2009, 9:37 pm

If a blogger writes a post and never posts it, does it make a sound? The answer to that clumsily-constructed analogy is “no”. I’ve now written three or four posts about how I haven’t been posting, and abandoned them all. How meta. I’m at a crossroads. I don’t see the point anymore, y’know? Either I have nothing to write about or there’s so many things I COULD write about that I don’t know where to begin. Some other stuff I’ve been working on is a long way from completion and when I try to write something here I can’t get take it to the end.

And it’s really, really, really, really bothering me. I wish I could blame it on good ‘ol laziness but it isn’t that. I know Twitter and Facebook take up some of my pointless social media time, but that ain’t the only reason. Dunno. Maybe I’m having a mid-life crisis. If so, how cliché. How banal.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been some thrilling moments over the past month:

  • Some people start cooking their own meth to feed their addictions–I started making my own hummus. Batch one was too claylike, batch two too runny. Batch three was in between and still not good enough. If you told me ten years ago that I’d be brooding over how much tahini I should be putting in my hummus I woulda thought you were smoking the rug. Now it consumes me.
  • Watched a few movies, including Watchmen, which was even more ultra-violent than I expected. I don’t quite get the premise at the ending of the flick–if we and the Soviets are willing to nuke each other on principle, why would a supposed third-party attack make us link arms and sing “Kumbaya”? Rather the same thing happens at the end of 2010, the sequal to 2001:A Space Odyssey–nuclear war is imminent, the monolith turns Jupiter into a second sun (no small feat) and suddenly everyone’s all buddy-buddy. I don’t buy it–if God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Shiva and the Flying Spaghetti Monster showed up on CNN one day and said, “We’ve had it with this bullshit n’at. Yinz clean up or your act or we’re wiping the slate clean and giving the dinosaurs another shot” the next day there’d still be people screwing each other over on a grand scale. There are some bad people out there.
  • Speaking of bad people I watched two German films about World War II. Stalingrad was a pretty bad movie about Stalingrad, while Downfall was about the final downfall of Hitler. As they are in so many ways, our German friends are briskly efficient when it comes to titling movies. Chances are you’ve seen at least part of Downfall–a snippet became a YouTube sensation as people altered the subtitles during a scene where Hitler is ranting against his generals because…well, that’s what Hitler did at the end. The problem I had with Downfall is that you have the raving Hitler and the cadaverous Goebbles and the rest of the Germans in the bunker are…nice. There’s one German officer who asks to stay behind in the bunker but Hitler says no, you have to leave to rally the troops. As the officer leaves he tells his adjutant that the war is lost and he’s going to do all he can to make a peace with the Allies to save the nation. He appears loyal, rational, and honorable. The officer’s name? Heinrich Himmler. Sorry, but when you make fricking Himmler look decent you lose me for the duration.
  • My Nittany Lions did not make the Big Dance and, frankly, didn’t deserve to. They needed to beat Iowa in the last regular season game and/or beat Purdue in the tournament. They didn’t and so they go to the NIT. I’m against expanding the NCAA Tournament…or am I? I would make each 12 seed a play-in game among the bubble teams. The fact that two small-conference winners have to play-in is a disgrace–make the big schools who didn’t cut it during the regular season claw and scratch for their very lives. The Tuesday before the tournament would become a big sporting event, as eight teams play for a berth, and there would be some semi-marquee matchups. Arizona-St. Mary’s, Penn State-Providence…you get the idea. I’m so clever I scare myself sometimes.
  • My bastard cat won’t let me sleep through the night, so when he’s scratching at the door and meowing at 6AM I’ve taken to putting on my Bose headphones and switching on the iPhone. I downloaded an app called “Ambience” that plays all sorts of soothing, New Agey sounds to lull you into whatever state you want to be lulled into. My current fave is called “brown noise“, which is different from the one Cartman talked about on that South Park episode. The good thing is that I almost instantly fall back to sleep. The bad thing is that when I do I’ve been having these technocolor, cinemascope, pulse-pounding nightmares. Last night I dreamt that Phil Hellmuth, in full General Patton regalia, was assassinated a la JFK while driving down the Las Vegas Strip. And that was one of the more “normal” dreams. Anybody wanna cat?

Maybe once I sort things out in my head I’ll venture forth and start finding stories to write about. I hope so, I’d hate to think that this funk is gonna stick. Because no one likes sticky funk.

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5 Responses to “Maintaining Radio Silence”

  1. Human Head Says:

    Re: The Watchmen

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXVuA7wKSKY

  2. Gene Says:

    Ahh, it must be nice to be totally insane and at the same time convinced that you’re the ONLY ONE who knows the Truth.

  3. Alex Says:

    Isn’t making Hummus in Pittsburgh treated as a Felony?

  4. Eric Says:

    When you get bored with Ambience, and learn all the bird and cricket chirps by heart, check out Ambiance too.

  5. Melek Says:

    emena tha mou peis?? pou anoiksa to gomalur na morfwthw (xwris plaka,eimai ispania kai diabazw ola ta periodika gia na mathw ti glwssa) kai anti na exei kana “i moda simera”, “diaita gia to kalokairi” ‘i “pws na breite tin agapi tis zwis sas” peftw panw se arthro oi diasimoi paterades.. Oute mia leksi den ematha, mono tis fwto xazeya!Pathainw plaka me patera storgiko!

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