Fulfilling All My Fantasies

Tuesday, August 14th, 2007, 4:48 pm

What a horribly misleading title. No, last Friday I took part in the Pittsburgh Celebrity Blogger fantasy football draft. Come to think of it. the phrase "Pittsburgh Celebrity Blogger" is pretty doggone misleading as well. There were no paparazzi gathered outside to trouble us as we made our picks…unless you count the one guy inside taking photos as he got drunker and drunker:

I haven’t played fantasy football since my senior year of college, when I won the whole thing thanks to Louis Lipps scoring on a 65-yard reverse in the championship game. I didn’t do the hours of due diligence customary for a fantasy draft, but I bought a guide, read through it a few times, and plotted my strategy. One thing I read in the guide was flat-out insane–it advised drafters NOT to drink alcohol while making picks, as the booze might affect your judgement and force you to endure four months of ribbing after making Eli Manning your first-round selection. I mean, what’s the point of fantasy football if beer isn’t involved?

I ended up getting the #11 pick in a 12-team league, which wasn’t exactly optimal but whaddya gonna do? I planned on taking Rudi Johnson, right up to the point where he went #10. I was looking at three guys–Maurice Jones-Drew, Laurence Maroney and Reggie Bush–and recalled that my fantasy guide picked Jones-Drew and Maroney as possible first-round fantasy busts this year. Our league counts yardage as well as TD’s so I went for Bush, hoping that he avoids the sophomore jinx and goes off this year.

I like my team, with Bush, Travis Henry and Jamal Lewis in the backfield, and a Fitzgerald, Williams (Roy) and Branch troika out wide. Philip Rivers is, I think, primed to have a nice year and give Nate Kaeding lots of chances to kick extra points. I have my choice of Chris Cooley and Randy McMichael at tight end, and my wild card is Santonio Holmes, who I think is going to make the ‘ol quantum leap.

The only thing I screwed up on was picking a defense. I thought that once everyone picked a D they wouldn’t take ANOTHER, preferring to wait until the bye week and pick one up off the waiver wire. And so I got doubly screwed, as both the Panthers and Vikings came off the board while I dawdled. I ended up with the Seahawk D, which should work out OK, so long as they don’t have to tackle Willie Parker. Oh, that happens on Week 4. We’ll see if my loyalty is tested.

Jim from Sportsocracy set the whole thing up, including the Draft Board which, I have to say, is pretty doggone cool.

No wonder Congress felt compelled to exclude fantasy sports from the UIGEA. I don’t think the American economy (or the American psyche) could’ve survived an assault on poker AND fantasy football. There would’ve been rioting in the streets. Which sounds like a lot of fun too.


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